Relational Presence is an interesting goal for public speakers

Lee Glickstein is a public speaking trainer and author we have discussed previously in this blog and I really enjoy his concept of "Speaking Circles." He is a master in this art and his books and articles are worth spending time with for those who want to communicate messages.

As part of his email marketing campaign, I received a newsletter from Speaking Circles today and I thought the opening article worth sharing. There is no question in my mind that speakers have to GRAB attention in the opening moments of a presentation. Lee Glickstein is a bit less violent than I might be in his description but his ideas about "Opening and Structuring a Masterful Talk" are well crafted.

Here is what he says to open this line of discussion in his newsletter:
Open and Structure a Masterful Talk
by Lee Glickstein, founder, Speaking Circles International
"Once your priority in front of any group is to be with your listeners in Relational Presence, specific content gets much easier to plan. Here's an article about how to open and structure a masterful talk. Below I expand on the all-important first 30 seconds, the ideal opportunity to establish a sustainable relationship with your audience.
After being introduced, the first mistake most speakers make is to start to talk the moment the applause ends. The second mistake is to open with a joke, a provocative statement, or a social nicety.
Establishing a sustainable relationship calls for at least one full breath (no less than 10 seconds) of silence after the applause ends, to honor the moment, the occasion, and your listeners. (Not the technique of a "pregnant pause," but an authentically transparent receptivity that allows everyone in the room to arrive, including you.)
Then, an opening line most likely to bring the room to rapt attention is a sentence that sets up a one-minute story of an "aha!" turning point moment from your life. That sentence wants to be delivered conversationally, clearly, not dramatized, with precisely enough information to allow your listeners to visualize a scene (as in a movie) where the action is just about to start.
Then another full breath (yes, another 10 seconds) that signals everyone (including yourself) to make the pilgrimage to that moment. This 3-part "hello" (breath, sentence, breath) determines your first impression. When you master this 30-second dance, your capacity for what is called "public speaking" will fall into place beyond your wildest dreams.
Do read the article linked above for the rest of the opening sequence and structure of an effective talk. Here is an example of the real world power of such an opening. Twenty-five years ago I was at a networking meeting where the featured 10-minute speaker, a CPA, opened like this:
"[Full breath] When I was a child, most nights I would hear my parents arguing loudly well into the night. [Full breath] I would calm myself by counting sheep, imagining numbers on their sides. The numbers would go into the thousands, so I grew up with a sense of relaxation around large numbers. Eventually I became an accountant, and I love to relax my clients around their numbers."
I was not the only one in the room attracted to work with this man who was far from dynamic, but transparently real. He became my accountant for 15 years, then my financial adviser when he shifted careers.
So what's your story?"

I recommend your reading the entire article that can probably be found at Speaking Circles. The links I copied did not work for this blog today.

Glickstein on Leadership Listening - We can HOPE

Lee Glickstein has a method of public speaking that he shares with people that he calls Relational Presence. I think of relational presence of understanding the importance of speaking so much from the need to get a message to listeners that you overcome the reluctance many of us feel about making "presentations." Don't take my idea. Check out his web site, which is included in the comments he makes in this observation about Leadership Listening. Since he and I both support this particular candidate for president, I thought I would share what seem to be on-target observations about the leadership style:

From a RELATIONAL PRESENCE newsletter on 10-31-08

Leadership Listening

by Lee Glickstein, founder, Speaking Circles International

"It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson in "Self-Reliance," an essay on Barack Obama's favorite reading list.

Chances are that in a few days we will elect a president whose most striking leadership quality appears to be the capacity to listen from a place of independent solitude during times of crisis. When I picture him coming up to a moment of truth when a critical decision needs to be made, a road to take or not take, a button to push or not push, a declaration or commitment to make, it's easy for me to imagine him breathing and listening in expanded neutrality even while surrounded by a whirlwind of details and opinions flying at him.

In these moments of chaos, the enlightened leader drops into a deep stillness at the eye of the storm, to an egoless state of no agenda and often, at first, no clue. A capacity for this expanded state of listening is critical for clear thinking and effective decision-making, and is in rare supply at any level of leadership--from leading a family to leading a nation.

The capacity for expanded listening is of course also crucial in leading one's own life. How do we maintain perspective and stillness at eye of the storm while chaos swirls around us and often within us?

In my life, desperation to conquer severe stage fright provided me a natural arena to work out this challenge. Speaking to a group, or even imagining such scenario, choked me with anxiety and dread. Decades of avoidance, humiliation, and not giving up led me to stumble upon a leadership principle that has allowed me to stand tall and still in the eye of the storm in front of any group: Listen first.

I don't speak until I first listen to my listeners. This takes at least one full breath. I listen while I speak. I listen to my words landing. I listen to the space between sentences, the longer space between paragraphs. I listen with my eyes, with one person at a time. My intention is to always be with one person at any time. This is the practice and priority of Relational Presence that is the basis of my life work.

Stillness is the underlying connective tissue of the group's soul. It's where we all meet. Shared presence becomes more interesting than the anxiety, more powerful than the fear.

Truth, grace, and inspired leadership emerge eloquently from shared presence and expanded listening. I'm looking forward to these qualities playing out on the national and global stage through our new president, should "that one" prevail on Tuesday.

Here are some relevant addresses for Lee: email: inquiry@speakingcircles.com
web: http://www.speakingcircles.com